Warning : Don't Drink Grammar at Old Town White Coffee !

Gentle Readers

Never mind the grammar error in the use of reported speech in this "Yum Cha" ad that appeared in The Star of Monday 12 November 2012. Go savour the robust flavour of freshly-brewed coffee at Old Town White Coffee kopitiam.

Is this is an instance of the copywriter exercising his creative licence to break grammar rules for effect and impact? The man in the ad should have said: "The doctor said I wasn't sick enough to be on medical leave." Perhaps the copywriter's use of the present tense is deliberate as it reflects a common mistake in Malaysian English. The practice of employees taking MCs - medical chits- is a common complaint of Malaysian employers. I suppose the combination of Malaysian English and the MC culture has the effect of helping (Malaysian) readers identify with the ad campaign?

Waiter, give me a cuppa!

 Pissing English

 The management at Shiok Kopitiam must have had a stinky hard time dealing with male customers who patronise their cafe with a misguided aim. This frank and in-your-face notice says as much : target your discharge inside the toilet bowl, and not on or outside the bowl. Yes, "it will be more grateful". The pronoun "it" appears to be ambiguous: Does it refer to the toilet bowl or the management? We know the toilet bowl is an inanimate object and therefore the expression of gratitude should come from the management. Maybe someone at Shiok Kopitiam has a literary bent and has decided to endow the toilet bowl with human qualities? In other words, the toilet bowl is being personified. However, I think the personification is accidental and the notice should have read: IF YOU CAN TARGET INSIDE THE TOILET BOWL, WE WOULD BE MOST GRATEFUL". The use of "can" here seems to imply that there's a possibility some customers really have a problem with their aim and need to consult a urologist. Furthermore, why "would" and not "should"? The latter carries the weight of obligation that is absent in "would". Hokey, dokey. I'd better get myself out of this stinky business. I would suggest that the notice be worded thus:  IF YOU TARGET INSIDE THE TOILET BOWL, WE SHOULD BE MOST GRATEFUL" This way, there's no ambiguity and no male customers will suffer the ignominy of having their noble aim questioned.

 McDonald's I'm lovin' it
 
NEXT time when you’re spending a blissfully intimate moment with your beloved, you might want to coo into her soft tofu ears: “I’m loving you.” I’m not sure how she would react, but what I do know is that McDonald’s tagline – I’m lovin’ it – sure has a way of getting our attention...

 Read the rest of this article at: http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2012/7/10/lifefocus/11572022&sec=lifefocus